BackWho you’re talking to dictates what you say. Review our Communication Styles if you haven’t already. And remember: These examples show communication skills, and do not indicate correct or incorrect viewpoints.
Choose the communication style of the person you’re speaking to:
If you hear them say…
“Why are you trying to start something?”
👍 Try this…
“I know COVID has divided our family. I still think we’re capable of having a respectful discussion about it.”
- Reassure your Peacekeeper that hard conversations can be done well.
👎 Avoid this…
“You’re too scared to have an honest conversation with me.”
- Calmly reassure your Peacekeeper that this doesn’t have to be a fight.
If you hear them say…
“Let’s not ruin dinner by talking about this.”
👍 Try this…
“Sure, we can table this for another time.”
- Pick up the conversation with other family members individually.
👎 Avoid this…
“We can’t hide from this division any longer.”
- Peacekeepers will try to cut off hard conversations to protect people. Reassure them without getting defensive.
If you hear them say…
“Why are you being so mean to your Dad about this?”
👍 Try this…
“I’m really trying to understand where Dad is coming from.”
- Distinguish between nasty arguments and genuine efforts to understand.
👎 Avoid this…
“Why are you defending Dad all the time?”
- Don’t attribute motives to the other person.
Additional communication styles...